Frustration levels are high

Well it is obvious from the title that this a venting post. I am extremely frustrated right now. Between a friend who think she knows it all and a cranky husband, I am ready to run away for a few days. I sent a message to another friend the other night to talk about the Navy, because as I stated before I would rather Cameron take the route of joining the Navy or Air Force. So this friend sends me back some great information in which I am extremely grateful for, but now I have to do some more research. I hope that Cameron chooses the Navy, but of course the ultimate decision is his. Everyone else including the friend I am annoyed with insist that he needs to join the Air Force. Nothing against the Air Force, but I have my reasons of why I want him to go Navy. I tried to explain Cameron's intentions and was told that "Oh that is a bad choice". Oh.... OK. This friend was snappy with Alexis yesterday too because her husbands' plans were messed up this weekend. Hello! Welcome to the military. You are not new to this and instead of taking it out on my kid, vent to your husband. Where is this going to get you? NOWHERE!!!!! My husband's weekend is messed up too and you know what: I have to live with it. I am to the point where I want to say screw everyone and just lock myself up inside my house until we move to Montana. Because if this crap continues someones going to get their feelings hurt and it will not be my daughter again.

Dreams

As a little girl, I dreamed of becoming a doctor or nurse when I grew up. I love the role of helping others and I think this was my fascination. When I was very young I become a mother. After my child vomited on me I realized that the medical field was not in the card for me at that time. Years went by and I decided that I wanted to do physical therapy, again the appeal of helping others was so memorizing. Unfortunately, the closest school is three hours away. So, I decided "OK maybe helping others is not in the cards". I decided I would be a Health Care Administrator and just be behind the lines doing paperwork. Somehow my schedule/course was messed up and I was already five classes in before I realized what the heck was going on. I was enrolled in the Health and Human Resources program. In all honesty, I believe this is where my calling is. I will be able to help others just in a different way. I dream of working on the reservation while going back to school to finish my masters' degree. I long to be a Mental Health Counselor. I believe that one person can definitely make a difference in another persons' life. Even though I have not always enjoyed my experience here at our current duty station, I know that life has meaning. There was a reason why "we" needed to be here. I needed to be here in order to realize how important life is. I needed to be here to realize how important friendship is. And, I needed to be here to realize just how important my education was. I know that I have a long road ahead of me, but I really do look forward to the journey.

Frumpy....

Is frumpy really a word? I am not sure but it is how I feel today. I am down to being able to fit in one pair of my jeans. You read that right "ONE PAIR"! It is quite annoying and I feel like my body is at a standstill. I thought that once I went off of the DEPO that I wouls start to loose some of the weight I gained. And although I have lost 4-5 pounds, it is not enough. I guess I need to stop waiting to find a gym buddy and just get motivated myself. That is a lot easier said than done. Although I am social, I have come to the conclusion that people just irritate me. Especially because many of them are not on the same passage as I am. I do not want to be a size 2 again, but a 7 would not hurt. It is actually my ideal size, because I can always find something I like. I am giving myself 3 months to get unplump that way we can get a family picture taken. It has been 3 years since we have done so. Tomorrow I will reenter the whole workout regiment. Time is ticking and I am not getting any younger.

Lost in a maze?.....No more like trapped in the unknown.

The mister decided that "we" should rearrange Jacks' room today. That's fine, I do not have a problem with that, except for the fact that I got caught off guard by Alexis. She was cleaning her room and asked me, "mom can you help me with my closet?" I walk into her room and I knew right away I would be in there for awhile, because there were papers sticking out of the toy box and the clothes were not folded up neatly in her cabinet. I decided to dump everything out of her toy boxes and pulled everything from the closet. Of course I find the stash of soda cans, chip bags, and candy wrappers that Caleb had hid in there. It took me almost three hours to get everything redone in her room and I still had not touched Jacks' room yet. I come down to grab a drink and with the intention of asking the mister why he was not upstairs with me to find him cleaning the kitchen. Damn.....he is off the hook. (laughs) I went in and rearranged Jacks' room and then made dinner because I could not understand the shakiness that was going on (duh). I had not ate since I grabbed 2 slices of bacon this morning when I cooked for the family. Now it is time to finish homework and get ready for tomorrow. I have to get a new ID since I lost my last one when I was sick.

We are the lucky ones:

As many know, Jack celebrated his 4th birthday yesterday and I have been very emotional thinking about it. I am so thankful to have a little one who is not delayed or defined as having a cognitive delay. It is my understanding that many children who are born early have some issues and although I am not new to having a child with a cognitive "issue", I am so thankful that it stopped with him. Jack was a little overly spoiled for his birthday for many reasons. 1) Often Jack does not ask for anything buy ice cream. 2) Larry will not be here next year to help us celebrate. 3) We have not given Jack a birthday party since he was 1. One of my friends commented on a picture saying how lucky Jack is. But to be completely honest, we are the lucky ones. My whole pregnancy with Jack was rocky, especially the end. I am so thankful for advanced medical technology and the swarm of prayers and support from my friends. I broke down a few times when Jack was in the NICU, but things could have been so much worse. The little booger decided to come out as a fighter (and stubborn). He is still very stubborn, but his personality is what makes him so different that the other kids. So.....with that all being said, again Larry and I are the lucky ones because here Jack is 4 years later a healthy and happy little boy.

My babies are growing up.

Yesterday Cameron talked to a recruiter. I am not sure how his information was provided, but I believe it was through JROTC. Originally, when I had talked to this recruiter, I thought he was apart of the Army. Come to find out he is a Marine recruiter. Larry and I have this idea that we would like Cameron to bypass the military as a whole and go to college. But, if he did make the decision to join, then we would like to see him go in the Air Force or Navy. I am not a "branch" snob, but "we" feel that the Navy or Air Force can offer him more options. Eventually, Cameron wants to move to California and work for a big corporation like Microsoft. I guess we shall see what the next year brings.

Blog Name

For some reason I forgot about this blog. Today I was thinking: hmmm there are some things I want to say but where do I put them? And then I realized that I had a blog forever ago and decided to come and see if I could reactivate it. So, here we are. I plan to use it more often, because well there are somethings that people do not understand about certain situation no matter how hard they try. And in order to get through the next year, I need an outlet.